You have done it. I have done it. It is detrimental to any relationship, and at some point in your life this one single action has landed you in hot water with the ones you love. This single word can destroy marriages and friendships, but it can strengthen your personal need to thrive for more. What am I talking about? Expectations. Here is a multi-million dollar secret.
Expectations sabotage and DESTROY relationships!
In my post on Monday I talked about how expectations can destroy relationships. (You can read this article by clicking here) Today I am going to talk to you about 3 VERY specific steps that you can take to drop expectations and strengthen any relationship that you have. Grab your pen and paper so you can take notes while I go through steps that if you implement them right now can help change your life by the end of this post!
In order to get a good understanding as to why expectations are so toxic you will need to check out the blog post linked above. It builds the foundation to recognize and trigger very important responses to help you recognize patterns in your life.
1. Open the lines of communication. The number one way to lower and completely disintegrate expectations in a relationship is to talk about it. Talk about what needs you need met by the other individual. Set the ground rules. Have a conversation, and that way there are no surprises when the topic comes up later!
2. Do unto others as you want done unto you. When you are in a situation where you realized you have put an expectation on another person it is okay to retract the statement! Train your brain to recognize the actions you are taking is not something you would want to experience in return.
3. Set very clear and very defined boundaries. This touches on communicating needs again. Boundaries are key to personal growth in any situation. You set boundaries that do not allow others to invade your personal space, however if you do not voice those boundaries and someone steps over the line, you have set an expectation of them that they were not aware of. Being clear and defined when communicating will 9 times out of 10 clear up any disagreement that may happen in the future.
Taking these three steps into consideration I want you to pick one situation you can remember where you put an expectation on another person, and one where somebody put an expectation on you. Go through and answer these 3 questions. What would have happened if (insert number one) was practiced, what would have happened if (insert number two) was practiced, and so on. You will be amazed at the information you find out about yourself by being aware of your actions.
Comment below to share the revelations that you had about expectations and improving communication!