Don’t Make This Mistake! Why Expectations DESTROY Relationships!
Have you ever been in a situation where somebody sets expectations of you that you were unaware of and you quickly realize “I had NO IDEA they expected that of me?”
Are you asking yourself now “How does THAT ruin relationships?”
Stop making the same mistake that is sabotaging your relationships
Are you wondering how you could be doing that? Then keep reading.
How in the world can you destroy relationships with expectations? They set you up to fail.
Let’s set up the situation. Linda and Jenny are mother and daughter. Jenny has three kids and Linda sees her grandchildren a couple of times a week on a regular basis. One weekend Jenny’s husband decides that he wants to take Jenny and the three kids to Disney World for the weekend. When Jenny tells her mom that she will not be bring the kids over this weekend, Linda goes into a frizzy and quickly hard harbored anger towards her son-in-law- and daughter because this is her time with grandchildren. Jenny now has to explain to her mom that it wasn’t meant to hurt her, but they are her children and she has the right to make those decisions.
Do you see what just happened there? Expectations created unnecessary friction.
Expectations. It is such a sticky situation when you project a responsibility without the other persons consent. Jenny did not know that Linda expected to have the children, and Linda felt a sense of entitlement because it became very familiar.
What do you think would happen if there were too many expectations in a relationship? It would be destroyed. It would crumble. With no understanding as to why.
So, what would have happened if Jenny used a very powerful tool that is often overlooked? Communication.
Let’s retrace to see what would happen if communication was involved.
Linda sees her grandchildren a couple of times a week on a regular basis. One weekend Jenny’s husband decides that he wants to take Jenny and the three kids to Disney World for the weekend. When Jenny tells her mom that she will not be bringing the kids over this weekend, Linda tells her she hopes that they have a fantastic time and she cannot wait to hear all about it. Linda was happy because the following conversation is what had taken place when Jenny started taking the kids to her moms. “I am more than happy for you to spend time with the children, I however want you to know that it is not a weekly commitment and if other activities are scheduled we will call to let you know ahead of time.”
One statement clarified strong boundaries between Jenny and her mother.
Does this seem to be a reoccurring theme in your life?
Then I want to hear from YOU.
Leave a comment below and check back in with me on Thursday when I will be revealing key methods on how to drop expectations and how to make sure you do not set expectations on others.
If you can’t wait until then to find out ways to change your life click here to read thoughts that will change your life