4 Reasons Why You Aren’t Happy
By Megan Newman
Four years ago I set out on a serious journey to find myself. I’ve always been interested in self-help and I have always been able to tell other people why they were so miserable, but I couldn’t figure it out for myself. I read article after article, book after book, blog after blog. I heard all of the same concepts, but I couldn’t understand why nothing in my life was changing!
I really didn’t get it. No matter how much I focused on the positive, I’d fall off the bandwagon. No matter how much I meditated, I’d run out of time. My schedule changed and I would find myself exactly where I started. Ground zero.
Anxiety attacks and depression had consumed my life, yet I was still able to offer everyone else the advice they needed to get through the tough shit. What was I doing wrong? That started a whole new mental tape that I was telling myself. What’s wrong with me? I see _____ SO happy with their life, what am I doing SO wrong to constantly feel so miserable?
One day I was meditating and it clicked. It wasn’t me that was screwing it up. I wasn’t going through the process the correct way.
Well technically there is no correct way to do something, but in this case there is the correct way to stop beating yourself up. I am constantly learning and constantly growing, but if you nodded your head in agreement this far, then these 4 things holding you back from being happy most likely ring true for you too.
- Not making small enough happy goals
Of course we all have our eye on the prize, but really it is small baby steps that get us there. You can’t set you goal to lose 80 pounds and expect up to wake up in the morning with the weight gone because you exercised and ate healthy for one day. It’s not realistic. I took my ultimate goal and broke it down into bite sized chunks that were easy to implement without feeling too entirely overwhelmed
2. Too much change at once
Oh oh oh! This was my biggest learning curve. I actually heard this point multiple times and one day it finally just clicked. I kept trying to make drastic changes all at once and it never worked. Ever. So I started doing small things and focusing on perfecting that before moving on to the next. For example, I started repeating words of affirmation and really connecting with what I’m grateful for before I even get out of bed in the morning. It puts a positive spin on my day. At night I turn on a meditation and do that to unwind. In the middle of the day when I feel high tension I consciously shift focus to how what is happening is actually serving me.
3 Focusing on everything that is going wrong
I am a huge huge huge believer in the law of attraction. I have studied it. I still study it. I teach it. I’m certified in it. It’s a life changing universal law if you follow it. Everything you focus on comes back to you. Things are just as you think they are because of the energy you hold for it. If you are new to the concept a fantastic book you can read about it is E-Squared by Pam Grout (Click here for the Amazon link to it) Focus on what you want to flourish, what you want to expand, what you want more of. What you feed grows. If you feed the negative beliefs they become larger and same for the positive. It’s just a matter of making the choice.
4. Make the choice every day
I started recommitting myself every day to follow through with my baby steps. As soon as they became a habit and a part of my every day routine, I added more. Sometimes I intuitively knew it was time to take the next step. Every morning I promised myself to do these things even if I didn’t feel like it. When I recommit every day I don’t have the heavy pressure of always having to be perfect. It’s an agreement with myself to be the best possible me.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation. -Brian Tracy
Being happy is and will always be something people want the secret sauce recipe for and the truth is
Let’s get the conversation going, what one thing do you commit to doing to improve your happiness and well being? Slowing down and taking time with family? Taking more time for you? Trusting the process and eliminating worry?
If you are unsure, I suggest that you start with the clearing negativity and inviting love meditation. Below is a space where you can enter your e-mail and your name to have it sent to your inbox.
Happiness is a never ending journey. It’s a beautiful journey if you allow yourself to open up and see it as such. Make the commitment today for a better you tomorrow, you won’t regret it. I promise.