Being a new mama is no joke. Your last few weeks of pregnancy you generally hear the same advice. Enjoy sleep while you can get it, don’t be afraid to ask for help, listen to your instinct! But what about those secrets, the confessions that you never hear about? Well my friends, today I am here to divulge to you 13 confessions from a new mama.
13 Confessions From a New Mama
My husband is in the Marine Corps and while he was able to spend the first 10 days home, after those 10 days I was left by myself to navigate the waters of motherhood with no family in sight. There are many things I’ve learned from right after my son was born all the way to 4 months later.
1. It is okay to admit that you are exhausted. There was nothing I wanted more than the validation from somebody that it was okay to be just flat out exhausted. I was (and still am) breastfeeding so there were no middle of the night trade offs. It was me and him 24 hours, 7 days a week and after about 5 weeks I wanted nothing more than a break. As cliche as it sounds, it gets better. You learn tricks to feel up to par. That brings me to number 2.
2. You don’t always have to sleep when the baby sleeps. My mother told me this day in and day out. Nap while he is! I wanted to so badly, but I am just not a person who takes naps. I stay at home and I find no shame in saying that there are mornings I will let him quietly play in his sleeper next to our bed while I snooze for a couple more hours. If you find that you can’t sleep when your baby is sleeping don’t come down hard on yourself! Use that time to relax or maybe even shower! Warning: You will forever think you hear crying the second your foot steps into that tub, even if you KNOW your little angel is sleeping like a rock!
3. The best thing you can do after birth is walk. I am so thankful that I had somebody give me this piece of advice at my baby shower. They had to take my son to the nursery to monitor shortly after birth so I made it a point to walk down the second level. Walk. Walk. Walk. It helps so your muscles don’t stiffen up when it does come time to go home!
4. Things are NOT all roses after you have your baby. I was under the impression that once my baby was born the pain of labor would disappear and I would be blissfully in love with this new little bundle of joy. Not this mama! I wasn’t told so I will tell you. You will not be able to hold your bladder. Be prepared to pee yourself for the first week. And the first bowel movement? Terrifying. My extremely adorable baby helped distract me from the fact that I didn’t realize I had to pee, until I laughed.
5. You won’t lose all of your free time. I was told this by multiple people. You lose all free time once that baby is born! Secret confessions.. there are still 24 hours in a day, you just have to choose how you spend those 24 hours more wisely!
6. Help is nice, but it is easier doing it your way. Don’t get me wrong help is WONDERFUL, but that is when you are in over your head. I only had my husband so I was forced to do it on my own after he went back to work, but now I would prefer to do everything!
7. It doesn’t always come natural. “It’s instinct.” Sometimes it really is, and other times it isn’t. I have worked with children much of my career and the care of a new born did come natural, but the emotional attachment didn’t come immediately. I felt like something was wrong with me, until I realized I had to take a step back from the caretaker role to emotionally connect.
8. Daddy’s have instinct too. My husband had held maybe two babies before our son was born. I spent 9 months worrying about how he will react and if he would be too scared to hold our son. He is a PRO. Instinct kicked in and he became the master swaddler and something close to a baby whisperer! You’d think he has worked with babies for years with how well he handles situations.
9. Birth plans aren’t all they are cracked up to be. Before my son was born I had an idea of how I wanted things to be while I was in labor. However I didn’t write it on paper, nor did I care that nothing went how I planned it. I firmly believe that everything will happen exactly how it is meant to. When I was in labor I didn’t focus on if the lights were dimmed or bright.
10. Life won’t end when you start getting obnoxious toys. Right before I gave birth I remember a friend telling me she was going to be the one to teach my son all the bad things, buy the inappropriate clothing, and obnoxious toys. I laughed and simply said okay, because at the end of the day YOU decide who your baby sees, YOU decide what your baby wears, and YOU decide what toys have batteries magically disappear.
11. You most likely won’t snap back to pre pregnancy weigh. Now, you may be one of the very lucky few who walks out of the hospital wearing the same clothes you fit into before pregnancy. I had that expectation and boy did I feel discouraged when almost 4 months later I still was wearing maternity clothes. As a matter of fact I had to buy a new pair of jeans because I’m still not my “original” size. Truth is that while my body may look different and I may have gained weight it is all because my body just did a miraculous thing and created a human being. I think I can cut myself some slack.
12. Not everything in your life will change. While this is true to some extent, things definitely didn’t change as much as I had anticipated. This I can only assume is for a first time mama. In a whole my life changed, my outlooks, priorities, etc. but day-to-day things pretty much stayed the same. I added feeding, diapers, baths, to my schedule but I still have time to do what I’ve always loved doing.
13. This will be the absolute most amazing experience of your life. I had to save the best confession from pre pregnancy, to pregnancy, to birth, and post birth my 4 short months as a mama have flown by. I never knew how much I could love another human being until I had my son. A smile when I go to pick him up warms my heart, I know he needs me just as much as I need him. I loved my husband before our son, but I never knew just how much until I saw him love our little bundle of joy.
Every single one of us handles life’s experiences in a different way, and I didn’t have anybody there to tell me that what I was feeling was normal. That’s mostly because I was afraid that if I asked I would be judged. Leave a comment and let me know what your most cherished confessions of motherhood are. What about funny stories? Share, share, share! I’d love to hear from you!